More and more news comes to the surface of nations spying on nations, and government spying on citizens. The popular reason is that it prevents terrorist attacks; during the cold war it was to deter world annihilation. Not withstanding the political and social ramifications, the ever-increasing perceived need to know what everyone is talking about points out the importance of communications.

While most specialist say that the majority of communications are disconnects where the parties involved are holding different conversations with each other. Have you ever really listened to the twists and turns of a conversation? Most are unfocused and cover a plethora of divergent topic liked together by non-existent linkage. Phrases such as: that reminds me of the time; that’s like what I did when; yeah, I had a similar experience; and the list goes on and on. In most cases the follow on topic is not the least bit related to the original. Does it matter?

In most cases on social communications the exchange of ideas and information is not as important as the impression made during the conversation. On the other hand if business, or important factual information is involved then it is important to have both a clear understanding and agreement. So in my mind there are at least two types of communications. Social communications where the goal is to make an impression and factual communications where it is important for all parties to understand and agree. So learning to communicate effectively may require two separate skill sets. One set to influence and impress, and one that is clear and concise to covey information and gain agreement. There is no reason why the two cannot be combined. Some of the people who are called great communicators, Ronald Regan, Bill Clinton and the current president (See what I learned from the press – Use the name and someone will snoop) packed their messages with emotion. All with different styles, but using the same tactics. When listened to with a social conversational ear all sound very intelligent and caring. Listen with an information ear and the messages seem to be lacking a lot of important facets. So do politicians speak on social level or an informational level? Why is there a need for a commentator to interpret what was said. Is this really good communications?

What we say, and how we say define our communications style and skill. Is it important – you bet it is. How well we communicate in this highly networked world makes all the difference in how others perceive us, and how effective we are at obtaining our goals.

One easy tactic in communication is really simple. Before you say something, think of how you would like someone to express the same thought to you. Usually this will make your choice of words more conducive to achieving your goal. Remember that sugar coating is not always the best method, to achieve your goal, and creating the impression you want.

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