Did you ever notice how some parents take an active interest in their children’s activities? Some just drop their kids off at practice and pick them up when it is over. Others stay and watch, encouraging their kids when they do something good. Then there are those who take an active roll in helping their children over come challenges they are facing in their activities. If the game is soccer, they may even hire a private coach to help improve areas where the performance is lacking. Most fall into the first or second category where the children are left to their own devices to learn with the team and let the chips fall where they may. This often sets the tone for how we approach our challenges.

It seems like the kids whose parents who have the resources and take an interest in giving their children every opportunity to succeed do better over all. Some of it is probably the extra coaching and practice they receive, but I suspect it is also their willingness to except they can gain an edge with extra help and advice. Most of us are raised to get on with the program and do our best. Few of us are encouraged to seek extra help. In fact it is usually an embarrassment when it suggested we need extra attention. It is as if we are flawed or below average for not being able to catch on as fast as the others. We often carry this attitude into the workplace and out careers. Where we feel it is a mark of weakness to seek help when we are struggling. Nothing could be further from the truth. Do you really think it is better to drown than to call for help?

There may be truth in the saying that there is no failure only learning experiences, but in my opinion, failure does not build confidence and self esteem, if is the norm of our activities. When you don’t make the team, there is no euphoric feeling that you experienced a great character building experience there is only the feeling of inadequacy. Although we should not beat ourselves up over our shortcomings, and strive to move on, even if in a different direction, would it not be better to get some help and avoid the failure in the first place. There is also a saying that success begets success. A mentor can help avoid the missteps which change our paths unnecessarily.

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